First Post

So, I created this blog for two reasons.
1. to document my study abroad experience which is coming within...oh, say, two months and
2. to ramble and figure out my beliefs on what reality is...as heavy as that sounds.
this summer will be one of spiritual discovery and fulfillment.
i mean, what else am i gonna do in Oxford? that's right, nothing. well, maybe something. ;)
but anyway, that is what the summer will be for me.
i do not even know where to start with where i am on this journey.
the more and more i think, the more and more i discover that the reality is a sea of intangible things...intangible thoughts, motivations, feelings. none of which can be seen with the naked eye, for it is felt by the soul and then the proper vibrations bring it to the threshold of our perception for further interpretation...that interpretation which comes from another...who does the same thing...basically information processing.
so, saying all this, i have reduced human beings to nothing but processors of information.
but there is another side to the story. another side which our society continues to ignore, but will someday pay the consequences for. this side is the subconscious.
this subconscious is much more trustworthy than many may think.
many choose to trust the conscious more because it deals more with tangible information in these everyday affairs. it is easy to be fully awake, at all moments.
however, if one could sit still, and ponder, no dwell, on the origins of the soul...the origins and happenings of the universe, he will soon discover, like i said before, that much of the influences in our lives are very intangible and not meant to be seen or touched...but felt...for we are not only creatures of thought, but also of feelings.
this feeling side deals more with the subconscious and is the part of the mind, the part of reality which we choose to ignore.
for many of us...
perception is reality, but reality is not perception.
what i mean is that all the things we "perceive" to be true are true to us.
like, i am black. others perceive this, but it is not necessarily true for it is only a perception which operates totally outside the subconscious.


instead, i think that...
reality is perception, but perception is not reality.
i believe this because there is a sort of duality to reality--both equal in vastness, but in completely different ways.
my soul is infinite, it does not know time. time is a human construction just like morality.
therefore, a world of constructions is not reality...this physical body is not reality...it is especially not reality when there is a being, entity or whatever you want to call it inside of us which controls our perceptions of everything seen, touched or experienced in the outside world.
now back to the point...
this being which dwells inside of us is constantly being ignored.
so, i have chosen to use this summer for giving that side more attention through exercises such as meditation, tarot, esoteric arts and other activities like that in hopes of further fulfillment...for i have quickly realized that eternal bliss does not come from what is outside, here...composed of materials.
it comes from feeling the cosmic eternity which dwells in each of us and unites us all.

god, i hope i kept all that in order. so there's the blueprint from which i am working. please help me figure out more!!! and yes, i probably did omit a bunch of information in this summary haha


ok, now i gotta get ready to go talk to the gender studies class at 12 haha

please excuse any grammatical errors or typos